it's time to say goodbye
by curlymarkergirl
Summary: Dean is dying from cancer and wants euthanasia , Castiel is devastated and has something to tell dean that will maybe change his husbands life and give him some hope to continue to fight.


**It's time to say goodbye**

I got to the hospital as I walked in I was greeted by severalnurses they were all very kind to me and Dean during his stay. I already know the wide corroders of the hospital by heart. I passed many rooms filled with families some were happy and full of joy, but some were sad and first time I walked into the hospital I understood how much humans are fragile but I understoodas well that that's what makes them special and my father's favorite creation.

I had news for dean that maybe will give him a reason to fight. We can now adopt a baby dean has always wanted to be a father and know he will finally have a chance to complete his dream.

I got to Deans room, I knocked three times and heard a faint yes from inside the room. I opened the door slowly and there laying on the bed was the boy that I fell for, the boy I would kill for and he was dying and there is nothing I can do about it.

The sight was heart breaking, Dean was paler than I have ever seen him more pail than the night he proposed to me and waited for my answer. He was connected to so many machines, he had an oxygen tank connected to him. He looked at me with his green eyes that didn't sparkle like they used to anymore, and you could easily see that all the hope of healing from this horrible sickness were long gone.

"How is my angel feeling on this lovely morning" Dean said. I didn't respond all I did was take a chair from the side of the room and moved it near Dean's bed. I could feel Dean's eyes following me, I sat on the chair and looked into his eyes. I leaned forward to kiss him gently on his forehead "hello dean" I greeted ,"why are you always so serious I'm dying for god's sake be you might as well be funny" he blurted. I chuckled and he smiled. It's rare to see a smile like this with dean these days, every time he smiled a real and sincere smile I'm afraid that it might be his last.

We were silent for a while just enjoying each other's company for in may be the last time. Dean was diagnosed with cancer three years ago inthe beginning we thought he might have a chance to win, but a year ago it got worse, the doctor gave him six months to live. It's been a year and I am grateful of every day.

Dean has disturbed the silence when he started coughing violently, I still remember the first time he cough like that. We were sitting together watching T.V he suddenly pushed himself from me and started coughing at first I thought it was just a cold but after a minuet he started spiting was when I knew that our new life was too good to be true, we rushed to the hospital even thou Dean we got to the hospital we waited for the result of Dean's test,it was late and Dean was tired so he rested his head on my laps and slept. He slept without knowing that soon his life would change from one end to the other it was his last time sleeping peacefully, and as I thought he was diagnosed with cancer.

I past him the glass of water that sat near his bed, he drank the water hungrily and set the glass next to bed. "Cas listen I've been talking to the doctors and...", "no" I replied cutting him off I knew that he wanted to take the pills the doctors offered them to him a couple of times but he refused and his condition always got better why is this time any different "under no circumstances you will take the pills you are going to heal and we will have a daughter". "What?" Dean questioned. "Do you remember that four years ago we applied for an adoption?" I said quietly, Dean looked at me terrified he nodded, I reached into my bag and pulled out an adopted form. "You will be a wonderful father" Dean cried " Cas I'm taking the pills no matter what you say or do it's too painful to live like this for the both of us, and as much as I want that baby girl I can't pull her into this mess." There was a moment of silence and dean continued "I can see you crying when you think I'm asleep the faster I die the faster you could move on with your life adopt that baby girl be a father be happy".

Tears started to form in my eyes I didn't know what to say to him he is the love of my life I can't watch him die. "Cas" dean whispered, I looked at him my eyes filled with tears and at last I said "Dean I love you but I won't support this hasty decision". "Dam it Cas" he said with all the power he had inside of him, I lowered my head and started crying what will I do I thought to myself. "Castiel look at me" dean said faintly, I looked at him and he was crying he almost never cries, the sight of him crying made me feel small and worthless more than usual. "I know that you will never agree but I already thought it thro I just need you to be here with me" Dean said. "Does Sam know?" I asked quietly. "Yea he came in this morning his said the same things that you're saying but in the end he agreed", dean answered. I thought about all the thoughts were running in my head, he was in great pain all these surgeries not being able to hunt. I decided. "Well then Dean Winchester" I cried "I will be there too". Dean smiled "I love you Castile Winchester" he said.

When Dean insisted that I'll go home I didn't go. I went to the adoption agency and filled all the forms, now all I needed to do was to convince him to not take the pills for one month and the baby will do the rest. And succeeded he still didn't take the pills, but it was the toughest month dean has ever had he was shaking and coughing he passed out every day. I almost gave up and let him take the pill but I didn't, and I am happy I didn't.

The day came and I took her in my hands. She was beautiful so small so innocent,she had brown eyes and a lock of orange hair on her small head she didn't have a name we will need to give her one I will dean give the privilege.

I was on my way to the hospital to surprise dean with our little bundle of joy, and to maybe change his mind make him fight for his life and to make his dream come true of being a father . I got to the familiar door of deans room, I didn't knock this time I came in. Sam was in the room as he told me, he knew about the baby I saw how his face lights up to see the bundle of talking blankets I was holding in my arms. The minuet dean saw me holding the baby he looked at me and was shocked, he looked at Sam's expression that was nothing but pure happiness he then looked into my eyes and understood that she was his. He imminently burst into tears of joy and for that moment we were all happy for the first time in years. Dean looked at me and Sam still with tears in his eyes "I'm not taking the pills I can't leave her alone I won't give her a childhood with only one parent like I had " he declared. I don't think that I have never felt happiness this strong all of my time as a human.

I stepped closer to the bed and placed the small girl in Dean's arms. "Does she have a name?" Dean asked "no I thought that you'll want to choose it" I replied with a smile," but how about Hope for the hope she gave us all". Sam then joked "what about Samantha? As a jester to her beautiful uncle". Dean laughed and finely decided "I think Mary for a memory to our mother". "Hey guys how about a picture as a reminder for this day forever" Sam suggested, " why not come here Cas" Dean exclaimed. I went to deans bed and sat on it, I smiled dean was holding the small infant. "Smile" Sam said and took the picture. For that minuet we were all happy smiling the small girl was laughing in Deans arm as he talks to her. But as I know my life it was all too good to be true.

Dean suddenly growled and quickly past me Mary before starting to have a fit. Sam ran outside the room and called for help the machines started beeping, the small girl started crying Sam quickly took Mary away from me and took her outside a nurse dragged me outside and said that I can't be in there.

After a couple of minutes a doctor came out of the room and walks towards me and Sam. The doctor looked me in the eyes and told me the thing that I could never imagine someone saying , Dean Winchester was dead.

I never cried like that in my life I sobbed for what seemed like hours, I didn't even look at Sam until I remembered my baby daughter. I looked at him, his eyes were red and puffy from crying ,but he held the girl close to his chest and whispered to her that it will be fine and everything will be ok. he afterword's told me that that's what Dean did after their mother died.

I got up from the chair and started slowly walking to the room. I entered and saw that white sheet was covering Deans lifeless body, I walked to the bed. I pulled the sheet from his face, his eyes were closed I knew I would never see his beautiful green eyes again, tears stated dripping from my face. One last time I took his hand and kissed it, one last time I kissed is forehead, and lastly his lips that were always warm were cold now. I pulled the sheet over Deans lifeless body and exited the room knowing it was the last time that I saw him.

I walked to Sam, he smiled at me, it was the saddest smile I have ever seen. I took the girl from Sam and he then did his way to say his last goodbye to his brother. She was sleeping he was peacefully and all I did was stare at her admiring her for a long time. Sam then came back with tears spilling down his face. He looked at me and said "you don't have to keep her" I looked at him with a big smile that was filled with despair. " she is my daughter I will never give Mary up" I whispered. Sam looked at me with a suppressed look on his face "you decided to go with Deans name" he said. "I guess so, it was his last wish" I sobbed.

Me and Sam did nothing but cry and take care of Mary for all the day. But Mary helped us feel better and every day it hurts less until the day she gave birth to a green eyed boy and named him Dean he was a memory of the father she never had.


End file.
